I’ve been laid out on the sofa sick for most of the week and therefore not been able to create any Inktober drawings, which kinda sucked. These two are the only ones I managed, but I do have a speed drawing/drawing time-lapse video on my youtube of this guy!
Drawing zissou is a little bit too fun for me…
I’ve taken self portraits ever since I got in to photography at 16. Setting up my £5 tripod from Tesco (which only got replaced last Christmas!!??), adjusting the self timer and focus and sitting by myself in front of the camera. They were always emotion-based; I’ve always found it easier to get across how I’m feeling in photo or art form over talking or writing, and always felt a bit better after taking a bunch of photos. Some of them I’d put online, and others I’d keep for myself, worried that others would think I was weird.
Blogging changed how I approached self portraiture – it wasn’t about figuring out who I was or how I was feeling anymore, it was about the clothes I was wearing. I’ve never really been happy with any of the outfit-based self portraits I’ve taken. They all just seem to be missing something, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was just being narcissistic, which a lot of other fashion/style bloggers have struggled with and written about in the past. Most of the self portraits I’ve taken (apart from whats on this blog) have been thrown away or deleted over the years, either accidentally or otherwise, and as soon as I got in to a serious relationship I just kind of stopped taking them… but I’d really like to start again.
This blog has taken its twists and turns and changed over the years, and right now I can see it moving in a different direction – less of the style/fashion based posts and more about my photography and art work. I do still love playing with my personal style, and I’m sure it will probably still be apparent in my future posts, but there will be less of a sole focus on it. Basically I want this blog to be like an open journal. I have toyed with perhaps just starting a new blog, or opening *yet another* instagram account dedicated to photo journals/self portraiture – but I already have trouble keeping up with the 25685976 accounts I already manage for myself and other businesses, lol.
So, what you’ve been seeing and reading since the end of July will give you a rough idea of how its going to be from now on: Photo journals, self portraits, shoots, pages from my sketchbook and art pieces & processes (& maybe still the occasional outfit if I feel like it *wink*). I still worry, just as I did before, that certain people might think I’m weird, as there will be things that people won’t have seen me make and show before, but this is my *art* man! Hahah
I’m also working with Harry on a new portfolio & blog situation. It will be self hosted and no longer on wordpress.com, but its a little way off as yet…
Anyway! I’m really sorry if you’ve been following along for my personal style posts or beauty posts… but if you are in to photography and illustration/art, then I hope you’ll stick around! ♡
Drawing is a struggle for me, it has been, probably, for the last few years. I couldn’t think for the life of me why, as drawing and painting has always been one of the biggest parts of who I am. Then I watched a recent video from MAIS2, and saw one of those usually annoying “meaningful quotes” (barf) that stuck with me and all of a sudden it made sense!
I think A) I’m scared and therefore procrastinating and B) I’m just not enjoying the process anymore.
By scared, I mean as soon as I pick up a pencil I automatically tell myself that whatever I create is going to be terrible and not up to the standard of my favourite illustrators. So whats the point?? The only people who tell me they like my drawings are my family and close friends; does that mean they are just saying it to be nice? I never sell anything on my Etsy shop; should I just give up? – I’m trying to silence this damaging voice, but sometimes its overwhelming, so my fear turns in to procrastination. I end up cleaning the kitchen or doing something that really can wait, instead of getting my head down and practising.
Even though I have spent the last few years experimenting with style and different mediums, I just don’t enjoy the process anymore. It took a long time for me to discover that was what was wrong with me, and its difficult to accept, but its true. Now that I know thats what it is, I can at least get to the bottom of why and try to fix it (right??). It might have a lot to do with the fact that I put too much pressure on myself (CONSTANTLY) – this is probably mostly caused by social media, specifically Instagram. I start to question if I am skilled enough while surrounded by all of these talented people all over the world at my fingertips, who have made something of themselves, and quickly decide I’m not.
So, what I’m trying to say is – my aim is to find out how I can quash these fears and just get on with it and create without beating myself up. I can only improve with practise, and the more I create the more creative my processes and themes will become. So perhaps, hopefully, you will be seeing more “sketchbook” posts with updates on how I’m feeling about creating. Does anyone else struggle with these sorts of feelings when it comes to creativity? How do you carry on and stop yourself from freezing up?
(these sketches are from the past couple of months, some are digital and some are pencil/pen/marker on paper)
I’m not feeling very inspired to draw at the moment, but I’m trying to push through that and just draw whatever, even if I think its super boring/predictable!
I’m also not getting on with this Leuchtturm sketchbook. It doesn’t like watercolour at all (!!!) and I’m finding it very limiting, and not in a bring-out-your-creativity sort of way. What do you do when you don’t get on with a sketchbook? Do you try to finish it because its a waste not to, or do you just start a new one?
Is anyone thinking about doing ‘May We Draw Daily’ this year? I might just go for it and see what happens!